.Lungs.Locked.Lips Locked.

"You can't fight the tears that aint coming"

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 18:27:43 GMT

urgh, okay so what is with this mood drop? you silly silly girl.

I really want to post but Im so meh for no reason.

and coming here has only reminded me of how much i fucked up my lj layout *grumbles* uuuuurgh.

Dans pissed off with me but whatever.

the highlight of my day??? well a cigerette with moose, and the news that i will be seeing MSI for the third time this year in a weeks time. woot.

currently Im onto the first disc of the return of the king, go me and my lotr fangirl ways.

but right now? Prozac nation playlist on my zen.

and maybe throwing out a whole HEAP of old memories, yeah, I'm in that mood. Life's shit so whats the point of holding onto things, they just remind you of happy times you'll never have again.

whatever. I need caffiene.

I am Cat's Wasted Life.

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 22:52:06 GMT

Currently quoting Fight Club.
Currently watching Titanic.
currently downloading masses of songs on limewire.
Currently starving myself.
Currently job hunting STILL.
Currently dreading the weekend.

Love XCatX Mwah!!!

haha, what a great idea.

Thu, 25 May 2006 20:46:22 GMT

a cut for every digestive biscuit, maybe Ill do that.

OMFGBBQ!!!111oneoneone...

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 15:44:17 GMT

FUCK YES, I HAVE THE NEW DRESDEN DOLLS ALBUM BABEH!!! DEAR LORD *DANGEROUS OVERLOAD OF EARGASMS*

Sweet amander palmer its fucking good!!! Im in fucking cabaret heaven!!! *hyperventilates*

I love it so much I posted about it on ryl...i think it may scare people...but I really do love this album...fucking love it *drools over cd*

Have been tired since maths, before that I was all happy and awake, during and after therefore during history as well I was very schleepy but still happy. Me and Tamz had a rather amusing walk home talking about super hairy testicles and various other things haha!

Now im off to see rob and do some textiles homework and force feed (no force needed) young leaders my easter egg so i dont have to eat it.

I feel guilty. My parents got it for me. I feel so fucking gulity but I cant eat it.

Love XCatX Mwah!!!

I HATE cocoa pops

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 21:29:07 GMT

Ive eaten too much cocoa pops rocks and i hate myself for it, how can be i be so weak and useless and idiotic and argh!!! I was doing so well...in fact no i wasnt, i has a bloddy buttered croisant this morning with a bowl of cocoa pops rocks aswell becasue I knew my mum would be suspicious if i didnt have my one...she knows i bloody well like them...argh, stoopid...uncontrollable...fucking no self control and...fuck this i cant be bothered to carry on ranting...urgh..

And ive had too much caffiene me thinks...worried rob aswell since istarted feeling ill when he came round later this evening...pfft...im such a noob...still got textiles to do aswell and i really cannot be asked right now...and im tired but i know i wont sleep quickly...not for a while yet with all the caffiene...damn...myself...

Love XCatX Mwah

giggles

Sat, 11 Mar 2006 11:08:13 GMT

Do you wana know...do you really wana know??? tehe, well i dont think im going to tell you, lets just say there was me, rob and...*cough* a couple of condoms, ...tumteetum...well lets face it if i hadnt of atleast hinted you would have killed me for not telling you guys first, so enjoy tamz and danz, you are teh first to know! well except me and rob of course but that couldnt really be helped :D

OMFGBBQ!!!111

Love XCatX Mwah!!!

Nag nag nag

Sat, 11 Feb 2006 10:48:31 GMT

Give me a break father, im not exactly in the mood right about now.

Thankfully im feeling better and a tad more relaxed about the C2C situation. Im going to inlist the help of the Tamz almost certainly, its just a risk im gona have to take, hopefully they'll accept a cheque from someone completely unrelated to me, and hopefully my money problems will be solved shortly, i really need to get me a job, after this bill is paid its gona be mega hard to pull togeatherthe money i need not only for the meet danz is insisting i go to but also for the london monopoly run which im pretty sure im gona need ALOT of money for, *sigh* my mum will pay fro the trip but im gona need other money for alcamahol, starbucks and chestnuts...what??? what did you think i was planning on having for dinner on the saturday with danz...pfft...noob...

Have just got back from the opticians, so my glasses are fixed and tight and a tad uncomfortable but ill get used to them, at least i can see properly now, but this means im back to wearing them at all times so rob now has a girlfriend with glasses *sigh* poor dude, stuck with me.

Heres the lyrics of a song im particualry liking at the mo alot, they're very good lyrics, thats all im saying.

Nymphetamine (Fix) - Cradle of Filth

Lead to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A 'V' of black swans
On with hope to the grave
All through Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones

Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain
So I swore to the razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again

Bared on your tomb
I am a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine

Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
Nymphetamine girl
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
My nymphetamine girl

Wracked with your charm
I am circled like prey
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt
(Keeping Sodom at night at bay)

Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance out to the moon
As we did in those golden days

Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay

Bared on your tomb
I am a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your holiness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine

Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
None better
Nymphetamine

Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
Nymphetamine girl
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
My nymphetamine girl

Tammi has BOOBS OF STEEL!!!

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 19:03:05 GMT

yes, tammi has almighty melons.

Im gona go do some science revision...great.

you can have washington i'll take new jersey
you can have london but i want new york city

i should get providence i've got a job now
los angeles - obvious - that's where you belong now

you can have africa asia australia
as long as you keep your hands off cafe pamplona

we can split germany right down the middle
you'd hate it there anyway
take berlin and well call it even

you can take all of the carry-on baggage
i'll trade the saskia jokes for the alphabet language

and if we find out that we have any children
we'll trade them off summers and alternating weekends

you call it over and i call you psycho
significant other?
just say we were lovers and we'll call it even
we'll call it even

i am the ground zero ex-friend you ordered
disgused as a hero to get past your borders
i know when i'm wanted i'll leave when you ask me to
mind my own business and speak when i'm spoken to

i am the tower around which you orbited
i am not proud i am just taking orders
i fall to the groud within moments of impact
i hit back if hit
and attack if attacked

you get route 2 between concord and lexington
i want mass ave from the sqaure to my apartment

and if we should meet through some misunderstanding
ill be very sweet very patient and forgiving
(now get off my side of the state)

and if we should meet one another in passing
despite these techniques there is sometimes no avoiding
(there must be some kind of mistake)

we'll raise high our white flags and say hi and shake hands
declaring the land we're on unamerican
we'll call it even

i am the tower around which you orbited
i am not proud i am just taking orders
i fall to the groud within moments of impact
i hit back if hit
and attack if attacked

i am an accident waiting to happen
i'm laughing like mad while you strangle the captain
my place may be taken, but make no mistake
from a little black black box i can say without shame
that you've lost
do you know what you've lost?

so take whatever you'd like
i'll strike like the States on fire
you won't sleep very tight
no hiding
no safe covers
make your bed and now lie
just like you always do
you can fake it for the papers but i'm on to you....

Lub u, XCatx Mwah!!!

URRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 06:42:14 GMT

too fucking early!!! Tis not natural I tell you tis not NATURAL!!!

Im officially going out with Alex now by the way, just thort you'd like to know.

moodles.

Danz, me, alcamahol, drinking game...sounds like a good time will be had by all!!!

Lub u, XCatX Mwah!!!

dont wana!

Sun, 06 Nov 2005 10:43:57 GMT

urgh, feel awful cos I know Ive gota go n do aload of revision soon aswell as work on my sketchbooks - Im gona finish all of my artist research pages today and work on my end projects, thats the aim anyway, its unlikely it will work, specially since Ive gota finish preparing my revision for history n then find something for maths to revise from! Then theres french, well, with any luck, I'll get an e.

Still wish I was somewhere else, having fun, having nothing to worry bout...cnt even proply look forward to my birthday since thats the day I have to finish my textiles exam....Im more looking foward to after school on my birth day - tho i dont know wat I wana do for my birthday - frankly getting drunk with a couple of friends would be most fun - but thats doubtful to happen at all at my house - meh....am also looking forward to getting my pictures back from boots on wednesday, it will be interesting to see how some of them come out - plus I fully intend on using the two lesbonic ones at the end to taunt alex with muha! Thats something to look forward to I guess...

Lub u, XcatX mwah!!!

hmmmm...

Sat, 05 Nov 2005 23:01:45 GMT

Ive gone down again...in mood, it always happens, wen I go somewhere like to a camp or round my friends for the night and have so much fun that i dont want to come home but I hav to. It really depresses me...specially wen i dont have naything to look forward to but mock exams and a weekend of revision. fun.

Had so much fun with Danz...and now I feel crap....no hang over...just crpa cos it was so fun and now Im stuck at home facing life with its exams and injustices. it sucks.

Lub u, XCatX Mwah!!!

Great Lyrics...

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 21:00:49 GMT

Heres two songs with great lyrics...first ones placebo n the other ones Dresden Dolls...read if you want...

Placebo - Pure Morning

A friend in needs a friend indeed,
A friend with weed is better,
A friend with breasts and all the rest,
A friend who's dressed in leather,

A friend in needs a friend indeed,
A friend who'll tease is better ,
Our thoughts compressed,
Which makes us blessed,
And makes for stormy weather,

A friend in needs a friend indeed,
My Japanese is better,
And when she's pressed she will undress,
And then she's boxing clever,

A friend in needs a friend indeed,
A friend who bleeds is better,
My friend confessed she passed the test,
And we will never sever,

Day's dawning, skins crawling [repeat three more times]
Pure morning, [repeat this three more times]

A friend in needs a friend indeed,
A friend who'll tease is better,
Our thoughts compressed,
Which makes us blessed,
And makes for stormy weather,

A friend in needs a friend indeed,
A friend who bleeds is better,
My friend confessed she passed the test,
And we will never sever,

Day's dawning, skins crawling [repeat three more times]
Pure morning,[repeat this three more times]

A friend in needs a friend indeed,
My Japanese is better,
And when she's pressed she will undress,
And then she's boxing clever,

A friend in needs a friend indeed,
A friend with weed is better,
A friend with breasts and all the rest,
A friend who's dressed in leather

Dresden Dolls - First Orgasm

it is a thursday
I get up early
it’s quite a challenge
i’m generally lazy

i make some coffee
I eat some rice chex
and then i sit down
to check my inbox

i only read a word or two
i stare across the street and see the churches and the blue

the first orgasm of the morning
is hard and raw as hell
there wont be any second coming
as far as i can tell

i arch my back cause
i’m very close now
it’s very cold here
by the window

there are some school kids
yelling and running
i barely notice
that i am cumming

the first orgasm of the morning
is like a fire drill
nice to have a little warning
but not enjoyable

i am too busy to have friends
a lover would just complicate my plans
i will never look for love again
i’m taking matters into my own hands

i think i could last at least a week without someone to hold me
i think i could last at least a week without someone to hold me
won’t you hold me?

Lub u, XCatX Mwah!!!

happy? noooo...

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 19:16:01 GMT

Today has been...awful???? yeah, pretty much, mainly cos I dont know...anything, I dont know why Ive felt this alful...I know theres stuff happeneing in my life that I dont like but I cant organise it in my head well enough to understand it. To figure out how I feel...i have no idea wats wrong with me...theres stuff...Ill explain wen I have more time...pfft...all I know is that Ive been depressed all day...n everybody new it...nd wouldn't let it go...guess they were just concerned...cos I cant be sad once in a while...meh

Mr Munro was nice tho...David made a big thing of me being unhappy...so Sir had a quick chat with me after school. Will elaborate later.

Lub u, XCatX mwah!!!

Urgh!

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 06:39:42 GMT

Unholy...hour...why...am i...up at this...unholy...fucking...hour...damn...school...damn...it to...hell...pfft...

Lub u, XCatX Mwah!!!

Urgh....

Sat, 29 Oct 2005 06:28:02 GMT

Tis an unholy hour of the morning...kept for sad losers who work during the holidays or like morning TV.

*shudders*

Tis unnatural!

N i should Hhav been up earlier than this...urgh...

Lub u, XCatX Mwah!

deary me...

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 21:44:36 GMT

I now have all of my stuff packed excluding wash stuff I need tonight n tomuro obviously...unfortunatly, My luggage now consists of my big red rucksack, my green Day bag n a big black bag filled with my sleeping bag, mat, cushti, dead duck, cutlery n plates n my halloween outfit stuff...its not a good thing, especially wen Danz is convinced shes gona fit all her stuff into her rucksack...pfft...*shakes head* it canno'be dun captain!

Twas a fun hour tho round her house creating Mr No Sex, he's our cross fressing pumpkin with much wisdom and hornyness and clickwork orangeness tehe!!! Glitter glue is teh schmex!!!

We're now creating a website for Mr No Sex on freewebs.com...will tell you the addy wen we've got the first draft proply dun.

Got a tad bit of homework done...alot less than i hoped but to be honest I really couldn't care less now...did a still life of a dreamcatcher whilst watching Pocahontus...gota love disney films, no matter the age...well not the newer disney films, they're sucky.

Lub u, XCatX mwah!!!

By the way am going to camp tomuro morn so probly wont update til sunday eve or someink.

I know, you'll all miss me.

urgh...

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 19:34:59 GMT

Dont feel too great...tho better than I did earlier thats for sure, Im so totally drained and had a stomach ache and stitch that made me want to rip heads from their necks...lots of them.

Didnt get much of my homework done unfortunatly, due to sickness n paper round (that I struggled to do due to drainedness)but since we are not infact going to portsmouth tomuro I have extra time...for various things, alex n homework...possibly sowing n packing definatly!!!

Im still worrying that I wont get it all done...its just to hard, Ive gota do so much n I just know its gona ruin my weekend if I end up with loads to worry about for munday. but I wont let it, I'll get loads done tomuro, that way I wont be worrying!!!

urgh...so tired, but so intent on doing homework...n I still need to txt alex...

Lub u, XCatX mwah!!!

tehehe...

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 21:43:40 GMT

today was fabbydabbytastic!!!

Went to Lakeside with Danz, Kelsi and El's. Twas muchos fun!!! One of the best trips to lakeside Ive ever been on!!! first stop...starbucks, fuck yeah!!! we sat on the stools facing the window...this resulted in staring a people as they walked past and, schmexy poses woop!!! Then we went shopping muha! I bought florescant green tights (the most comfortable, stretchy ones EVER) evil fairy wings, mask n wand (with black rose on end - all bought for £2.50 at the disney store fuck yeah!!!)also, special collecters edition of ahmmer mag - completely on Green Day!!! n Trivium on Cd!!!

All in all brill shopping trip!!!

Went back to Danz to try on out dark fairy outfits (Im borrowing Danz bodice n skirt) where we danced around as fairys in all our gloriousness!!! We sang disney songs had a loverly dinner made by chef Danz and then proceeded to watch wat not to wear.

cant fucking wait til camp at the weekend!!! Its gona be awesome!!! Our tent will have its own pirate flag and spider web cover muha!!!

been an awesome day...fucking awesome...

Lub u, XCatX mwah!!!

Just a little worried bout homework tho...

Cat got some

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 21:38:42 GMT

Hehe, dono if Danz noticed but Cat gave Alex a goodbye "kiss" before we went...:P

but now i want more...ive had a taste and now Im hooked! well actually Im just really horny...craving some tongue action!!! hehe!!!

Explorers...we spent majority of night outside in the rain, our trousers absorbing water...twas muchos fun, found out I look great in a backwards cap...that Ive stolen from Alex tehe!

Danz WILL get some, very very soon! specialy since we're getting so good at the fake snogging *nods*

Lub u, XCatX Mwah!!!

"Im two quarters and a heart down..."

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 09:43:19 GMT

crazy dancing again!!!

err...Tamz, wats the name of that Warren Suicide song that was on your my space profile a short while ago???

Im getting Chaz to burn aload of songs onto a cd for me and really liked that song :p

The corpse Bride tonight peeps, im thinking the 6 20 viewing would be good...we could even go to pizza hut afterwards...or run around festival liesure with our shoes on our hands trying to floor people *coughs, "Zoe", coughs*

Lub u, XCatX mwah!!!

Ive fallen in love!!!

Fri, 21 Oct 2005 21:37:27 GMT

I have discovered heaven and it is suicidekitten.com!!! Its fucking brilliant!!! Its a web page for the art,etc. of Karla Ruiz and she is...utterley fantastic!!! You have to look at all of her art work!!! Shes also done throw pillows (absolutely gorgous!!!) and rag dolls (I want their babies!!!)Shes just...Im lost for words, she really truely is the best artist IVE found, all of her artwork is amazingly beutiful and I LOVE IT!!! CHECK IT OUT!!!

Im definatly using her for one of my artist research pages for my mocks...maybe I'll do her in both textiles and art...

anyway, today weren't bad...tho I still have Tamzi's scarf that she lent me last night and I fogot to give back...since she went home at break and I didn't get to see her. You okay Tamz??? why'd u go home without giving cat her daily dose of Tamziness fun and frollicking???

hmmm...im very inspired...and I keep having vivid fantasies involving mass inspired art , gerard way, and verious other things....*sighs* oh let it come true...

Was pissed off at school at one point...Ive came to the conclusion that David is an arrogant arse and proceeded to tell him this. dont ask...all I know is that im fed up of him hating everything I love, insulting most of it and degrading anything and everything I love basically. He just makes these assumptions that he claims are facts and they're not cos he cant read minds...*sighs* I dont think I'll call him up to see whether he wants to go to see the corpse bride.

My stomach hurts...I tied a couple of scarfs around my waist as tight as possible to see how small I could get my waist and knotted it so that I was tidying my room with a tiny waist kept with scarfs...it was painful...tho it makes me want a proper corset more!!!

Lub u, XCatX Mwah!!!

or - oh!

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 20:39:14 GMT

another sign...my dad just walked in complaining about the state of my room...he hasn't done that in ages...before the letter. This is not good, he was back to his old way of threatening me with something...in this case it was "if you havnt got enough room for all of your stuff in that room you'll just have to go back to staying in Sarahs room" fuck. that.

That is never gona happen, thats for sure, I had even less toom in there anyhow...Im really worried now, I just wouldn't be able to handle it if he returned to his old ways...it was alful before...but he came in a had a go at me...which makes me feel worse than I youst to wen he lectured me cos its like...fuck, hes turning into evil arsehole dad again...fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!!!

oh god I hope that doesn't happen...please just let him stay nice to me, pleasepleasepleaseplease, I dont want the old, telling me to do this and do that, treats me like an 8 year old, threatens me, downgrades me in someway...generally an arsehole whom i hate...dad.

I want to stay happy.

On I lighter note (I surpose) i found out that my indecisiveness has reached a new high...now I cnt decide wat the hell Im gona take wen I go to collage...it all depends on wever Im truely sure I wana be a social worker...its a career that interests me for sure and I like the idea that Id be meeting interesting people and hopefully helping them...tho as I know that doesn't always happen, as Tamz has told me many times how social workers do jack shit...well hopefully I could be one that actually does something to help instead of making things worse.

Then i think...do I really wana be stuck in a job thats low paid, stressgul and depressing...that includes barely any of my interests such as textiles and art or graphics...a job that wouldn't be fun like being a rock star (cos thats gona happen to me) or a fashion designer (alternative fashion) or, or...an actor ( hahahahahahahahah...hahahaha...hahaha.ha) All hard careers to get ANYWHERE in but careers I might enjoy...careers based mainly on talent...talent I dont have.

pfft...Im gona stick to social work...atleast then I can do textiles in my spare time if I have any...then I can marry a rock star (once again...cos thats gona happen)form my own band have babies and settle down bringing up my kids to be MUCH better at decided good career paths than I am...preferably kids that arent little arseholes you wana kick...*sighs* dear god Im gona die alone...

Lub u, XCatX Mwah!!!

foogle

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 16:37:31 GMT

just spent the last half an hour collecting stills from the Im Not Okay (I Promise)video for art...will be such a cool project muhahahahaha!!!

school wern't too bad...Tamz ended up being the (super) human board wiper and we had our connexions photos...for which I did not smile...at least I dont think i did, she said look at the camera and I did...its not like she said smile...meh!

no paper round so WOOP!!! would be the appropriate word to use here.

All in all, today has been all right...the pressure from art and textiles seems to have lessened and I got through maths without too much awkwardness...pfft...Mr Webb can go to hell...as long as he dont go to the seventh level Im good.

Lub u, XCatX mwah!!!

im only happy wen it rains...

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 20:43:17 GMT

wow, im sitting here at my computer, Ive got a spoon in my mouth from the last mouthful of vanilla yogurt I spooned out of the biopot I have. im listening to Dance Dance by Fallout Boy on repeat and I am crazy dancing...the kinda dancing where you go...crazy...CRAZY...CRAZY AS A COCONUT!!!

Ive just finished my textiles boards for rock samples *yawns* and have done a bit more of my textiles sketch book...should really do my history...and my blodge...but thats not fun...Im in a fun mood...*starts wiggin out to music*

my dada just walked in and put a bit of a dent in my mood tho...a bit, he saw that I was reading VG cats and, I quote:

"you should be doing homework or going to bed"

Then he walked off.

*coughs*

ITS FUCKING NINE THIRTY!!!

I really hope hes not sliding back into his old ways before the angry letter...haha, that sounds so sad, the angry letter, but the thing is it worked, atleast it has done up to a few mins ago...i REALY hope hes not sliding back into his old ways, i like how it is now, we're civil to each other, I actually like him now hes not yelling at me all the time to do this or that and not trying to send me to bed at obsene hours, giving me more freedom. We get on all right...there isn't so many snipes comeing my way these days about the way I dress or watever hes hung up on at the time...like my vegetarianism or my taste in music...

I REALLY REALLY hope hes not...

*dances manically*

Lub u, XCatX Mwah!!!

message not sent...plz try again later

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 05:37:26 GMT

*throws phone out window*

stupid phone, i got it to send one message last night out of about 3 i wnted to send...3 I tried to send about 30 times each. Was trying to have a convo with Alex...I will elaborate sometime but Ive gota go have a shower.

will also tell you about my still struggleing homework problems and the great maths event...an experience I NEVER want to repeat again!!!

I have to talk to Mr Webb today...*shudders*

Lub u, XCatX Mwah!!!

*.Lungs.Locked.Lips Locked.*